


Lying By Omission (is still a fucking lie)

by orphan_account



Series: The Truth That Hurts [4]
Category: Funhaus (Video Blogging RPF), Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, F/M, FakeHaus, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:21:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22528528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It's an unspoken fact that both Adam and James rely on Lawrence for guidance and security. But when Lawrence starts to unravel at the seems, he starts to question if this relationship is even worth it or if he's simply too much for either of them.
Relationships: Adam Kovic/Lawrence Sonntag/James Willems, Bruce Greene/Matt Peake, Elyse Willems/James Willems
Series: The Truth That Hurts [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1500620
Kudos: 14





	Lying By Omission (is still a fucking lie)

When Adam tries to scent, he does it in a clearly non alpha way. He likes pressing in close, crowding over Lawrence when they're still in bed together. He'll sling a leg over Lawrence's waist and settle on him heavily and press his nose against Lawrence's neck. He'll breathe deeply, more than he needs to really.

Scenting is a really gentle activity mates take on, usually on the alpha end. It can also be a nice bonding activity for the pack. It reassures people of their place in a relationship. It brings with it security and comfort. Lawrence likes doing it because it sates that slight possessive streak in him. He likes scenting Adam and James because they smell like _him._ He can press his face to the crook of their necks and scent them. It's one of his favourite things to do when they're not on the job and have some decent down time.

Adam rubs his beard against Lawrence's neck, and it tickles a little. He keeps his beard neatly trimmed, but it always feels so scruffy at this length. And he won't get over how fidgety Adam gets when he wants to scent. He's never the passive recipient for something like this. He always wants to jump in now, especially since he came out as an omega.

But he can tell Adam is getting frustrated. He's making more sounds in the back of his throat, so eventually he takes Adam by his hips and settles him back onto his thighs so he can sit up. "Hey, hey. Take it easy. There's no rush here, baby."

Adam folds his arms over his chest. "I just wish I could do it, you know?"

Lawrence frowns. "Do what?"

"This." He gestures between them. "Scenting. I don't know. It's dumb."

He hasn't seen Adam get this worked up in a long time. "What do you mean you can't scent?"

"Nose isn't the strongest. Never has been. Never been able to scent anyone in general."

Lawrence flexes his hands on Adam's hips, lets him know he's here. "Want to talk about it? We've got some time yet." They re-situate themselves to sit side by side against the headboard, Adam leaning his head on Lawrence's shoulder.

"I can barely tell what anyone is. Alphas are a bit easier if I'm looking for it. Spicier often. But if Bruce hadn't told me Matt was an alpha." He shakes his head. "I wouldn't have picked him out. And I see you doing it with James, James and Elyse, Bruce and Matt, and I want in on that. I want to know what's so special about it. But I can barely tell what anything is."

He didn't know this about Adam. It would make sense that he's never been too keen on people before. Was never able to pick anyone out from a line up which is why he stuck to more work that kept him far away. Eyes in the sky type of deal. It's just better for everyone like that.

Lawrence runs his hand down Adam's thigh to comfort him. "I'm sorry. I can't imagine how hard that is."

Adam shrugs. "It's not hard. I don't want anyone to pity me."

"I'm not pitying you."

"Well, sometimes it feels like it. I know I'm not a box standard omega, but that doesn't mean everything different about me make me hate myself."

He's never heard Adam talk about himself like this. For years he lived as an alpha and still likes to posture as such. Lawrence thought he was more hung up on that, but it seems Adam is comfortable in his own skin, and Lawrence needs to accept that.

Lawrence tucks his arm around Adam's shoulders and pulls him close. "I love you," he says. "And I support you. And I will listen to you."

Adam is quiet and Lawrence feels like he overstepped some sort of boundary. This is a serious relationship for him and he doesn't want Adam to feel like he's being cornered. Like Lawrence is being _too_ overbearing for him.

Then Adam comes in close against Lawrence. "I'm not angry just . . . sometimes it's a lot. This, the three of us, the pack, can be a lot. And sometimes I just want to do my own thing and not have it be looked at for something it's not."

Lawrence chances a kiss to his cheek, just above the line of his beard. Adam doesn't pull away.

"I just need support. No questions or anything like that, okay?"

Lawrence nods. Of course he would. There is very little he wouldn't already do for Adam. "Okay. Sorry if I pushed you too far."

"You didn't. I just have to figure some things out."

This conversation stays with Lawrence in the coming days. He knows he has an obsessive personality. He likes to analyze things over and over again until they don't make sense anymore, often to his own detriment. He's just worried that he's not living up to his own expectations. This bond took him by surprise. Yes, he'd always been fond of Adam as soon as they met, and he and James have an understanding that just naturally developed into something more. He just didn't think they'd become integral to each other. Blow off steam, yes, but coming to depend on each other like this? It was sort of unthinkable at the beginning.

Lawrence doesn't really think of himself as good alpha material. He knows he can be intense. He knows he can be overbearing. But he's always tried to level that intensity out by being overtly self-sacrificing. Offering people anything they could need of him. Want someone to ride out a heat or rut with? Lawrence has your back. Need to be scented because you're stressed? Lawrence is there. He can offer a wide variety of services, but since he came to the crew, he's relatively pulled back from that unless it's related to James and Adam. He's settled in, committed. He can't exactly afford to be distracted and out of control. It's why he's been on suppressants for over a decade, long before he joined the crew. He can't let himself be distracted by his rut. None of them have realized it. Not even James or Adam. It's not really a thing Lawrence wants to share and he doesn't think eh has to. It doesn't really affect anything other than giving him more control over his physiology.

He likes to think that's the reason why and he's not just shoving down all of his instincts. Suppressants aren't bad. They can help people who feel their instincts put them out of control. He knows James has weighed the decision of taking suppressants but has never gone through with it. Lawrence knows they aren't for everyone, but for him they help. They give him clarity which he needs.

He wouldn't say the suppressants affect him much. They take that uncomfortable period of time, those five days when he can't deal with anything and they chance it into a plateau. A steady low that he can stem with exercise and self-care. He prefers it that way, even if it dims some of his senses. Makes him feel sluggish sometimes. A small price to pay when he’s in a high stress job and in a relationship with two others.

Details of their relationship rarely affect the rest of the crew. They all have their bonds which make it easier to work in an environment like this. They’re pulling off small jobs, a lot of them digital, or moving product around for those willing to pay their high fees. They haven’t done anything big or as big as the casino job when Adam got shot. Bruce is still a bit wary on pulling anything big, but the numerous small jobs they’ve been pulling keep them busy enough, but Lawrence knows he wants to do something big, something to get the underground economy talking about them again.

The groundwork for their big comeback is being laid. They won’t go near any casino or bank, but rather a banquette where the guests earn at least nine figures. It’ll be a night of glitz and glam and they’ll take whatever they can get. Steal for the rich and give to themselves and mostly the poor (of course). They have four months to prep, figure out the guest list, the venue, the security—all of it. They’ll get masks and costumes together. They’ll make a show of it, have some fun, make it more threatening than it actually is, and disappear into the dead of night. It’ll be lots of fun for them.

Lawrence is in charge of the venue layouts and security details. He’s meant to look for weak spots, areas they can exploit and slip into. James is meant to run errands and Adam is meant to go under cover a few times to gather some valuable information. The work apart isn’t what stresses Lawrence out. He usually isn’t. He trusts his mates to know when they need to take a step back. He can’t (and shouldn’t) be the knight in shining armor all the time. James has to learn self-control and Adam needs to know he’s not being smothered or whisked away in any sign of trouble.

Work is going well in the initial stages. They have a new found sense of energy with them again, and it’s exciting to be a part of it. A part of the crew, the pack. That sense that they all belong together and mean more to each other than just friends and lovers.

Nearing the bulk of their prep phase, they’re all putting in long hours, and sometimes that interferes with natural events. Lawrence loses track of their calendar, which is rare for him since he usually keeps on top of stuff like this. When he’s finished up for the day, he comes out of his stuffy office in the base and finds the lights turned off in the main rec area of the room. Only a lamp has been left on, illuminating Bruce and Adam’s position on the couch. Bruce is sat up but sprawled against the couch cushions, Adam’s head in his lap. Adam seems to be sleeping deeply, but as Lawrence gets closer, he sees the sheen of sweat on his forehead, the way his shirt clings to him.

Bruce opens his eyes upon his approach. “His heat started. Said he felt weird so I pulled him in to sit down for a while. I texted James, but he'll be out for a while yet.”

“You could’ve gotten me.” Lawrence tries to ignore the way the possessive streak rises up in him. That Bruce, a beta, wouldn’t come to get Adam’s alpha to take care of him. But he’s not the head of the pack here. Bruce is, and it’s clear Bruce wanted Lawrence to have some time to finish his work for the day, rather than having Adam’s heat cloud his vision.

“He’s fine,” Bruce says. “Just needed to lie down a bit. You know he’ll be okay.”

And Lawrence knows, realistically, that Adam is. He’s hidden it for many years and taken care of himself. He can let Bruce handle this until he has his shit together and ready to head home and take care of Adam.

They get him into the car, and as Lawrence settles in the driver’s seat, he sees how Bruce is cupping Adam’s cheek through the open window, how Adam leans into it, purring because he’s not comfortable, not yet, but he clearly responds to Bruce and his type of affection.

Lawrence doesn’t want to say he’s clingy that night, but he hardly leaves Adam’s side until James comes home. And then it’s the three of them again—as it should be—when Adam’s in the throes of his heat.

There’s a niggling thought in the back of his mind during Adam’s heat that he can’t ignore. He sees how Adam and James get wrapped up in each other, how James gives himself over to his instincts and lays claim to their omega, and a part of him wants to give himself over to that. Be the dominating alpha that he knows he is on the inside.

But then who would pull him back if he reached the brink? He doesn’t know if he trusts himself to go to that point. Even if he would love nothing more than to go off his suppressants just to experience one of Adam’s heats completely uninhibited.

Adam’s hand hits his thigh and catches his attention. His pupils are blown out, lips red and swollen. He looks at Lawrence with doe eyes and Lawrence feels compelled to slide down in bed and seal his lips over a sensitive spot on his neck, just a soft mark, nothing like James’s bites. But it pleases Adam all the same and that’s all Lawrence could really ask for.

* * *

He doesn’t fall head over heels when Adam’s in heat because of the suppressants. He’s clear minded when he enters the bedroom so he can keep Adam’s well being at the forefront of his mind. He wants to be a considerate partner and mate, and he doesn’t think letting his instincts take over is the best way forward.

He’s seen what alpha aggression and rage can lead to. His dad was one of _those_ alphas. The one who believed his word was law and that everyone needed to follow it. His sympathetic alpha son, however, didn’t exactly fit his mold of what an alpha should be.

He left home at fifteen and went on suppressants when he was eighteen. It wasn’t worth it, the pain he could cause others just from a misplaced word, the wrong tone. Suppressants make it easier to understand his partners and read them without any of his alpha nature clouding his vision. And he prefers it that way. _Needs_ it that way.

Adam comes out of his heat no worse for wear than he usually is, loose and ready to hit off their next big hit. It’s still a few weeks out, but now they’re running through hypotheticals. Making backup plans for backup plans. They run through everyone’s job for that night. James and Adam will already be on the premises as caterers. Elyse and Matt will be working to ensure the alarms are down so they can sneak in and set up their exit, where Bruce and Lawrence will be making the grand entrance and kick off the entire thing.

Lawrence sleeps very little the night before. He’s in bed with Adam, James having stayed with Elyse that night. Adam is on his stomach. He’s not asleep, Lawrence can tell.

“You’re quiet,” he says. “Penny for your thoughts?”

Lawrence stretches out his hand to rub Adam’s back. Touching him is always nice and it never has to lead to anything more. He doesn’t know why he feels like he’s in a funk, that he’s really just drifting along and doing whatever Bruce asks of him. It could just be pre-heist jitters, he hopes.

“Just thinking,” he says. He doesn’t saw how he thinks of Adam being shot, seeing Adam go down like that before he can pull him into the car. The warm blood on his fingers as he assessed the damage. The sounds of pain Adam made. _God._ It all feels so recent.

“You know,” Adam says, propping himself up on his elbows. “I can think of a few good ways to help you relax.” He’s fighting a smile and Lawrence rolls his eyes.

“Fine. Do what you please.”

He pushes his sweatpants and briefs down to mid-thigh and moves to lay more fully down on the bed. Adam moves to get between his legs. Adam surprises him with sudden kitten licks to the head of his cock. He sets his hand on top of Adam’s head, doesn’t guide him, just holds him because Adam always knows how to make this good.

Adam’s slow at it, contents himself with small licks and taking only the head into his mouth. It’s a process to get Lawrence fully hard, but Lawrence appreciates how much time he’s putting into this, making Lawrence’s mind white out until all he can think about is this. This pleasure.

Adam only pulls off once to get the lube, get some on his hand, and get back at it. This time he’s taking Lawrence deeper into his mouth, making it wet and hot, his hand coming up to the base of his shaft, stroking him off in tandem. Lawrence gives minute thrusts of his hips, grips Adam’s hair because he needs something to do with his hands.

He comes near silently, a cut off groan as Adam swallows him down. His hands fall back to the bed as Adam continues to lick at him, until he’s sensitive and squirming. With careful nudging, Adam gets his clothes back into place and slides back up beside Lawrence. He looks too smug for this hour, so Lawrence tries to smother him against his chest by throwing an arm around his shoulders. Adam laughs lightly.

“You’re never as rough as James is,” he says, tracing out patterns on Lawrence’s chest as Lawrence begins to doze.

“No one’s as rough as James is.”

“True.”

Lawrence doesn’t want to call it facefucking what James and Adam get up to, but it’s pretty close to it. Sometimes Adam likes to be roughed up because he likes being pushed to his limits and James is good on delivering that. Lawrence is usually on the sidelines, making sure they don’t push each other too hard.

“You know you can be rough with me,” Adam says. “I’ve seen what you can do to James when he needs it.”

“Maybe,” Lawrence says and it’s all he says on the matter because soon after, he drifts off to sleep.

* * *

It’s the day of the heist and Lawrence isn’t feeling up to par. It’s like he’s running on 50% when he’s trying to act like he’s at 75% _at best._ Thankfully, he’s with Bruce for the majority of the day, and it’s easy to get in line after Bruce. Bruce has such sheer confidence and bravado heading into these situations. He has the most level head of the crew even if he can get a bit excited sometimes. Lawrence would follow him any day.

Right now, however, they’re a few blocks away from the banquette, chilling in a café where Lawrence can watch the set up happen on his laptop and Bruce can be informed through their ear pieces. They’ll head out and change into their gear in the next hour, approach the venue off foot so their car won’t be suspicious.

“Adam and James,” Bruce asks. He keeps his eyes on Lawrence, makes it seem like they’re the two who are talking.

“Getting acquainted with the food,” Lawrence says as far as he can see through the cameras on site.

 _“They’re giving us positions on the floor,_ ” Adam says.

 _“We go live at six,”_ James says.

“Good,” Bruce says. “Elyse, Matt. What are you up to?”

 _“Electrical panels,”_ Elyse says. She doesn’t add much else, meaning they need to keep quiet on their end.

“Also good. We’re keeping an eye for anyone we’re not expecting. Other than that, we’re doing fine.”

Lawrence switches through a few cameras, not looking at anything in particular except always drifting back to James and Adam.

_Adam shouldn’t be in this. They should be back at Lawrence’s apartment, holed up and dug deep underneath the covers, making a den for the both of them where they can—_

“Lawrence? You hear me?”

“Sorry.” He rubs the bridge of his nose. “Can you repeat that?” He doesn’t know where that line of thought came from.

“I asked if you could see what surveillance is like.”

“Right. Sorry. Ugh, a few security guys in the office. Most of them look pretty relaxed. They’re chatting about something. I think I can see a football game on one of the screens?”

Bruce nods along. “Good. They’ll be distracted then. Matt and Elyse can lure the others into another part of the venue and have them locked out from the main hall.”

 _“Sounds good to us,_ ” Elyse says.

 _“Here we go,”_ Adam says.

Lawrence shuts his laptop off soon after and follows Bruce out of the café. There they go to a prearranged spot to get changed into their riot gear. Matt and Elyse will be carrying sets for James and Adam and they’ll all convene and head into the main hall of the banquette.

Lawrence knows all the steps they have to take next. He’s been running this scenario through his head dozens of times by now. It should feel like second nature. Then why does it feel like he’s moving through molasses? Slow and dense?

They make their way to the venue, geared up and ready to go. Matt and Elyse have left a spot for them to come through and seal behind them. Bruce lets the others know to ready up, and they confirm silently on their ends.

They move quickly and efficiently to their predestined meet up spot. The crowd is about seventy-ish people. All are dressed up to the nines. They won’t be expecting people like them to come crashing in. They won’t be armed or secured. They’ll have their guards down at this event.

James and Adam are the first to rendezvous with them, geared up and ready to rumble. Adam looks steady. He looks calm and far too relaxed for this. Shouldn’t he be more worried about this? More on his toes? Lawrence wants to say something, provide Adam with some guidance about the scene they’re about to enter. Tell him to be _good,_ to follow his lead, only that this is Bruce’s heist. His planning and his lead. Why are these thoughts coming up now?

“You guys good?” Bruce asks and he gets nods from both James and Adam. Lawrence feels a bit slow on the uptake, but he gets there. He follows through.

When they get the signal from Matt and Elyse and the security guards are thoroughly locked out of the main event hall, they pull their masks into place, hoist their guns, and start to make noise. James, it’s always James, is the first to fire a few rounds into the air. Bruce’s voice rings out loud and clear, telling them all to be calm and that everything would be over soon. They’re joined by Matt and Elyse as they come to circle in threateningly, guns raised and poised.

“Now we don’t mean to interrupt,” Bruce says. “But we do mean to make this party a little less glamorous. You make trouble, _you get trouble._ ”

From there it’s pretty easy to shake people down, get them to hand over their fat wallets and clutches, their jewellery and watches, anything worth a damn so they don’t get shot. A few men, the ones who think they’re hotshots, try to be the heroes, but it’s easy to intimidate people when you’re throwing them to the floor and waving a gun in your face.

“You looking at me?” James says. He likes to get rough when he’s in character. “You looking at me, mother fucker? You wanna go?”

It’s always something to watch James go at it. There’s always passion in everything he does. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if he’s playing or not.

Lawrence looks to Adam, sees him prowling with a cocky tilt to his hips as he walks. Lawrence walks subconsciously closer to Adam, mirroring his steps, looking at anyone who dares look at him the wrong way. He wonders if any of them can tell if Adam’s an omega. Not that it matters, but people have their assumptions. What if someone in this crowd assumes Adam to be the weak link in this hold up? What if they approach him when his back is turned and no one’s there to protect him?

Movement out of corner of Lawrence’s eye catches his attention. He steps closer to Adam, sets his hand on his shoulder as a precaution. Adam stops and looks back at him. Through the mask he can see the confused set of Adam’s eyes, as if asking _what are you doing?_

The sound of doors slamming against the wall cut them all off when they realize the security guards broke their way back into the hall. This cuts their looting short by a significant amount, and now they’re raising their guns, prepared to fire in an open room to protect themselves. People are screaming, running to get out of the way, and now they have to fall back onto their fall out plan. AKA get the fuck out.

Matt covers their escape with a few well placed smoke grenades. There’s enough confusion for them to get away fast and leave the banquette hall behind. Elyse settles herself into their get away vehicle. She’s one of the most competent drivers of their crew, the smoothest as well. She gets them onto the road and speeds away to put as much distance between them and the police that are surely on their way.

“What the _fuck_ happened?” Bruce demands.

“Lawrence wasn’t in position,” Matt says. “No one was watching the door for the guards.”

“Lawrence! Why weren’t you in position?”

Lawrence blinks. “I don’t—”

“He was tailing me,” Adam says and he sounds exasperated, tosses his mask off somewhere into the car.

“Why were you tailing Adam?” James asks, twisting in his seat to get a good look at Lawrence. “Adam was fine on his own. We were crowd control. You weren’t.”

Lawrence tries to think of this rationally, put it to words everyone can understand. “I just . . . had a bad feeling.”

“About what?” Adam asks. He’s frustrated, has that furrow in his brow that’s just one step away from anger. “I was fine! No one came at me. I had things under control, and I don’t need to be protected every time we go out on a job like this.”

Lawrence shakes his head. “That’s not what this was.”

“Then what was it?” Bruce asks, his words sharp and clipped, meant to punctuate. “Lawrence, this isn’t like you to just disobey orders. We had a fucking plan. And if you had just stuck to it—”

“ _I know,_ ” Lawrence says. He knows what it looks like. That he’s just a knot-head who’s too wrapped up in his omega to think straight. “I slipped, okay? It won’t happen again.”

“When do you ever slip?” Bruce asks. “I thought you had everything under control.”

“I do—”

“Really? Because that’s not what I saw back there.”

“Guys,” Elyse says. “Playing the blame game isn’t going to get us anywhere. When we get to the point, we go our separate ways and let the heat die down. We don’t need to go over the what-ifs about tonight. It’s not going to get us anywhere. So take a fucking chill pill and don’t distract me.”

The car is uncomfortably quiet after that. They get to their drop-off point, get into the cars they left there in the days leading up to the job. Lawrence is the last to get out of the vehicle, feeling like he has to drag his feet the entire way. They’re all to leave in separate cars, but he hesitates. He watches Adam move away. His eyes, his gaze is only ever meant for Adam.

Adam turns, looks at him. He backtracks until they’re face to face. He shrugs his shoulders, throws up his arms a bit. “What was that?”

“Adam, I don’t know.”

“That’s not.” Adam licks his lips and shakes his head. “You make me feel like I’m a little kid and I can’t be trusted.”

“That’s not—” Lawrence shuts his mouth when Adam tenses, when he raises his hands.

“It feels like it is! I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but lately I feel like you don’t trust me. Or, or you want to keep me within arm’s reach because I’m yours or whatever fucked up reason you got going on. I’m _not_ your omega.”

The words hurt more than Lawrence would like. He takes it personally and wants to argue that, no, Adam _is_ his omega and he _is_ his alpha, but that’s never been their thing. Not in the traditional way an alpha-omega bond is seen to be. They love each other, they’re boyfriends, yes, but none of that signifies Lawrence having the right to call Adam his omega and expect him to follow his lead. And that’s what he’s been trying to do.

In the wake of Adam’s admission, Lawrence has nothing to say.

“Guys,” Bruce says. “We need to leave. Get in your cars and _go._ ”

Adam takes a few steps back. “I’ll see you.”

Lawrence nods and finally moves his leaden feet to the car meant for him, so he can get away and disappear.

* * *

He’s hit a low point. He’s managed to move back to his apartment and hole up in his den for the time being until Bruce calls them back in.

He’s in a den, his den, he realizes. Holed up in the dark and trying to rest but unable to. His suppressants don’t let him crash like he would during a normal rut, so he’s left in this weird sense of limbo. He feels like he’s missing something, and that possessive part of him wishes Adam were here. So he could pull him down and keep them bundled up together until this feeling passed.

If he asked nicely, if he didn’t go about this a selfish way, would Adam indulge him?

After the third day of hiding out, there’s a knock at his door. Lawrence takes extra caution when opening it, but it’s only Matt. Maybe things have cooled down enough for them to start talking to each other.

“Can I come in?” Matt asks because he seems to sense something.

“Sure,” Lawrence says, stepping back from the door even if a part of him bristles at the idea of Matt, another alpha, coming into his space like this.

They settle in his living room, Matt freshly dressed and looking like he slept well; Lawrence, still dressed as he rolled out of bed, unshaved, and unwashed. He’s usually not like this, but he hasn’t been feeling like moving and doing things to make himself feel better. He’s usually not this lethargic.

Matt is quiet at first, taking in the room carefully, all the nick-knacks on the coffee table, and the breakfast bar. He points to something there, an orange prescription bottle. “Something I should know about?”

He could be concerned that Lawrence is popping prescription meds without need them. Or that he’s actually sick, but Lawrence responds. “They’re suppressants.”

Matt raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you took them.”

Lawrence shrugs. “It’s not like I’m out here telling everyone that I am.”

He watches Matt stand and pick up the bottle. “Twice a day? That seems extreme.”

Lawrence burrows down against his couch. He doesn’t want this to become some sort of interrogation scene. He’s not in the mood for it.

“I never took you for the suppressing type. What’s it like?”

“It suppresses a rut. What do you think it’s like?”

“Are you in a rut now?”

Lawrence tries to do the math in his head, figure out where he is on the calendar. “I guess so.”

Matt sets down the pills and returns to his seat. “I’ve read a lot about suppressants. Thought about taking them a few times when I was in college ‘cause . . . I don’t know. Thought it might make things easier? But then I met Bruce and he sort of grounded me during those times. It’s never easy, but it’s easier with someone you know?”

Lawrence doesn’t. He started taking them because he wanted to. Because he didn’t want to be held back by biology. It’s not rocket science here.

“I’ve never seen you act that way before on the job,” Matt says. “And I’m not here because Bruce asked me to come or any of the others. I wanted to check in on you because I don’t think anyone has picked up on it yet. I mean, it makes sense now why you’ve always been so calm and collected and knowing. You’ve never had to do deal with those ups and downs every cycle. But something changed this time. You were acting odd.”

“You don’t need to give me a play-by-play of my life, Matt. I know.”

Matt nods. “Yes, but I think you need to understand that things have changed for you and for us, and I don’t think the suppressants are going to help you in the long run. Adam’s the pack omega, right? But I don’t think you’ve realized what that means to you and you’re struggling to figure it out. But since you’ve suppressed yourself for so long, it’s hard to see it.”

Lawrence tilts his head. “See what?”

“You’re a pack alpha and you’re clearly jealous of how Adam’s fit into the crew. He’s no longer just yours and you’re fighting yourself internally.”

 _God._ This is a mess. Lawrence runs his hands over his face and sinks his fingers into his hair. He’s never been in a bonded relationship before, and yeah, he’s still figuring things out, but he’s never wanted to be a pack alpha. That’s a lot of responsibility first of all, but he’s always felt that role has come with a lot of egoism. And egos don’t mix well with organized crime.

But a pack alpha? That changes things a lot and Lawrence doesn’t know if he’s up for it. If he should just break the bond he has with Adam and James and step back. They have each other. It should be fine.

The more he thinks about it, the more it makes sense. The possessiveness, the over-protectiveness. A part of him _wants_ Adam to belong to him and only him and he wants the crew, the pack to recognize that claim. It’s only been getting worse because technically he should be in rut. He’d be wanting to pull Adam back to his den where they can rest and look after each other. The only person he would want to see him there.

“I can’t . . . I can’t do this.” He stands up and paces a bit. “I’m not going to be some sort of knot-head and have the crew suffer because of it. I’d rather break things off than have that.”

“Lawrence,” Matt says, calmly and rationally. “What exactly are you afraid of?”

“Well, you should know. Right? The whole I’m the quote-un-quote head of the pack? Even though we all know Bruce is? It’d make things too messy. And I don’t want to risk the crew because I’ve put myself in this position.”

Matt sighs. “I think you’re blowing things out of proportion a bit. No one will expect you to take this position seriously. Or do anything based on it. Hell, we barely do anything about Adam. Yeah, I like to scent him, but I do that for his comfort and mine. We’re friends. It doesn’t have to mean anything more. But I bet if you go off the suppressants, you’ll have a better understanding of what it is you’re looking for. Just something to think about.”

Matt stands and he leaves a few moments later. They make their goodbyes, and Lawrence looks back at his prescription sitting there on the counter.

* * *

The crew doesn’t come back together for another week, but since the heat has died down, Lawrence arranges for James and Adam to come to his apartment so they can talk. They both arrive and it’s a bit tense, but they don’t see angry with him. Just frustrated, like they don’t understand his motivations which, fair, he’s still figuring that part out himself as well.

“I haven’t been all that truthful with you. Either of you. I’ve been suppressing for twelve years now? And, um. I don’t think I should be anymore. It’s . . . it’s a mess. I didn’t realize how much it was affecting me until, well, until the heist.”

James and Adam are sitting together, thigh to thigh. Lawrence misses them. He misses the causal intimacy between them.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” James says. “I feel like we should’ve known you were on suppressants.”

“I didn’t want people to think I’d be a liability if I went off them.”

“It’s still a big thing,” Adam says. “Like what if you suddenly experienced a bad side effect because of them? And we didn’t know. We’re your _mates,_ Lawrence. I don’t care about the reason why you went on them unless you want to tell us. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I am—“

“No, you’re not and don’t try pretending otherwise,” James says. There’s an angry set to his brow, and Lawrence feels a defensive knot curl up in his stomach. That pack alpha tendency rising up and wanting to take over. “Why don’t you just start from the beginning? And we’ll go from there.”

He silently thanks them for their patience because they sit and listen to his story. Basically from the beginning with an abusive alpha father and why he went on suppressants in the first place. How he hasn’t experienced a rut in over a decade. And then how Matt came to tell him that he’s likely the pack alpha and how he needs to figure that out as well.

“I don’t know if it’s going to mess me up even more,” he says. “Going off the suppressants and then trying to rein everything in when it comes to the crew and you guys.”

“You’re not alone,” Adam says. “We’ll tell you when you’re being overbearing. I think you’re giving your status too much control over you. I’m the pack omega, yeah, but that’s really just a title. If I don’t want to be, I can just step back from everyone and that won’t change much between us and the crew.”

“But what if I’m too much for _you_?”

“You won’t be,” James says. “That’s literally my worst fear, but you’ve helped me see that I got this. That I know my own boundaries and I don’t need to be afraid of myself. You can trust us if you can’t trust yourself.”

Lawrence breathes out and sits back in his seat. He’s feeling exhausted—from the heist, the plateau of his not-rut, and now from the emotional upheaval that is his current life. But James and Adam aren’t walking out on him. In fact, James is the first to move. He sits beside Lawrence on the sofa and grips Lawrence by the back of the neck. Just enough for Lawrence to feel it, through the haze of his exhaustion and the suppressants, for him to relax into James’s hold. And when he’s relaxed, Adam joins them as well.

* * *

It doesn’t take long for the suppressants to be purged out of his body. A week after he stops taking them and he’s already starting to feel entirely unlike himself and yet, he’s okay with that. He feels and senses a bit more strongly than he used to. One morning, he wakes up beside Adam in bed and he’s caught by the scent of him. It’s soft, has a hint of sweetness to it, and he’s being pulled in to mold himself to Adam’s back and breathe him in, trail kisses the back of his neck and shoulders until Adam’s rousing from sleep.

“This is nice,” he says, voice deliciously rough from sleep. He stretches out under the covers. “What are you getting up to back there?”

“You smell good.”

“Ugh, gross. I haven’t even showered yet.”

“Indulge me.”

Lawrence tries to turn him over, get them face to face, and when he goes in for a kiss, Adam whines. “No. We haven’t even brushed our teeth yet.” He pushes lightly at him, but stops when Lawrence’s teeth latch onto his collarbone. He lets Lawrence suck a bruise onto his skin before asserting that he needs to wash up.

“I’m just going to wash my face, brush my teeth. And you should too if you want to get up to anything, mister.”

* * *

The crew starts picking up small jobs again to keep them busy, but they’re still riding off the high of a mostly successful robbery. They’re moving the jewelry in pieces and Bruce isn’t as nearly as mad as Lawrence thought he would be and is much more understanding when they finally talk about it. He keeps Lawrence off of stressful work until he knows how he feels being off of the suppressants and everyone respects their boundaries. While he doesn’t get nearly as obsessive when Elyse is with James and tugging him around after her, he does get a bit testy whenever anyone is doing anything with Adam when he can easily picture himself being there instead. It’s a bit of a trial and error period where Lawrence has to check himself and has to be told off by Adam when he’s being too much, but he gets there. He figures out what the pack alpha part of him is asking of him and how they can at least meet half way.

When the time comes closer to Adam’s heat, Lawrence relies a bit more on James to see him through it. Let him know when it’s okay to press in and smother Adam with comfort and when they need to step back and let him do his thing. Until he’s ready for it.

“Just rely on your instincts when the time comes,” James says. “They’re there for a reason. And if you need to tap out, you know I’m going to be there with you. It’s okay to ask for help.”

It’s a lot when Adam finally tips over into the first stages of his heat. Lawrence feels like there’s a lot more going on now that the suppressants aren’t acting as a filter.

They let Adam sleep and soak the first day, always ready to give him anything he needs. And when he’s twisting on the bed during day to, asking without words for them to touch him, they give in and care for him.

After a brief nap and when James has stepped out of the room to prepare some food for them all, Lawrence finds Adam looking at him. His cheeks are still flushed, a light sheen on his upper lip, but he’s not as feverish as he was before. What he’s looking at Lawrence with is with _heat,_ the hot and heavy gaze that pulls Lawrence in on an invisible leash. He curls a hand around Adam’s hip, sinks his fingers into the skin. Their lips meet, brush over each other before Lawrence is sinking his teeth into Adam’s lower lip and gets a high pitched gasp from him before it morphs into a whine.

It’s easy to get in between his legs after that. Lawrence is already hard and thrusting his hips up against Adam, frotting against his each other until Lawrence gives in to Adam’s whines and ‘pleases’ and he’s guiding his cock back into him. He’s still gentle, gentler than James usually is. They build up a steady rhythm between them before Adam’s hiking his legs up, spreading them even further so he can get a better hold around Lawrence’s waist to pull him in even further.

He recalls what Adam said to him so long ago now. That he isn’t going to break, so Lawrence gives himself over to that part of him that wants to consume Adam fully, use and own him as an alpha would an omega.

After a dozen sharp thrusts, Adam flips the script on him and clamps his knees around Lawrence’s waist and uses his mass to flip them over, plant Lawrence on his back with his hands on his chest to keep them there. He’s left to watch as Adam chases after his pleasure over top of him, lost to the sensation of his heat and his mindless need to satisfy himself.

He comes, fully seated on Lawrence’s dick, settling back on his thighs as Lawrence jerks off his cock to wring out the last of his orgasm. And when he’s loose and pliant again, Lawrence flips them, pulls out, and finishes off over Adam’s stomach.

The two lay panting next to each other. Lawrence moves his lips over any skin he can reach and Adam indulges him, lies there still and tired. He drags his teeth against the back of Adam’s neck and is rewarded with a full body shiver. Still, Adam lets him do what he wants, and then he’s sinking his teeth fully into Adam’s neck, clamping down and leaving a dark bite there—an alpha’s bite that would show to the world that he is claimed and he is loved.

And when Lawrence sees that mark still dark and sensitive in the days following, he realizes how nice it can be to let his instincts guide him.


End file.
